however did I end up here, at this point?

and where is this point, hopefully on the very edge of this life, I want to look back on this moment as a new awakening, and I have been awake before. I just saw the quote

“it’s never too late to have a happy childhood”

I am moved to tears by the thought that it really is possible to heal ourselves and our lives, if we just realise it.
The younger of two children, I always would have said I had a happy childhood, because I was happy. Back then I think I was happy, I dreamed big for the future and felt like there really wasn’t anything I couldn’t do. Home life was a mess, but for a long time I thought this really didn’t affect me. My sister ran away from home and didn’t come back for years, and I thought that really didn’t affect me either. My mum and dad despised each other, although they didn’t split, they just stuck it out and fucked things up more and more all the time. Well, stuck it out is a euphemism, as there was no relationship between them I think. And I also thought that this didn’t really affect me.
Ha
that’s how I came to be this magnificent specimen that you see before you.
But, this is the point were it all gets real. Things that have gone bad can be fixed, people have been hurt, but they will mend, bodies have been neglected, but they will respond to being trained up again. There is nothing that can’t be fixed with right thinking and right actions.
I am currently working on my vision, so will go back to it.
namaste